Palace of Romance

It could well be true that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday created to make the entertainment and food service industries millions of dollars. Singles complain that it exists to allow couples to feel smug and to feel pity toward their single friends. The elevation of the importance of romantic relationships reaches its peak on February 14—year after year. Yet, when examined, the day is irrelevant. What remains well after Valentine’s Day is the relationship you’ve built with your significant other. So, take a step back from this overwhelming holiday…and breathe!

Your significant other has probably been repeating the same pattern for years: gifts of lingerie, jewelry, chocolates, or roses followed by an evening of fine dining. Then you retire to the bedroom for fun and mischief—or in some cases, sleep. We have allowed a commercial industry to define romance, and it has become stale and predictable. It is time to climb out of this Valentine’s Day rut.

Claim Valentine’s Day for yourself. Tell your other half that you want to design the day and do all the planning. He may be shocked, but we are willing to bet you’ll detect a hint of relief on his face. While Valentine’s Day is a night usually reserved for going out, it is also a lot of pressure to do so. Ridiculously expensive prix fixe menus, competition for a quiet corner of the restaurant, and the collective anticipation of hundreds of men and women can make for a stressful evening. So, stay in and create a palace of romance for your evening together. As mentioned before, the day itself is irrelevant. Make the relationship the focus of your celebration. Forget everything you have ever been told about romance and start to redefine the word so that it takes on a much more personal meaning.

Is your relationship adventurous? Are you outgoing, up-for-anything, spontaneous, and wild? Here are some creative ideas for creating a special night that’s up to your standards:

♥ Recreate your hottest night together. Did you fall in love to blues records and tumblers of whiskey? Set the scene. Did you first kiss in a tent on an exclusive campout? Set up a fort in your living room. Play up the things you remember the most about that night.

♥ Make it a night he will never, ever forget by selecting a passionate song and performing a dance to it. It should be more Carmen Electra than Napoleon Dynamite, but hey, if you’re a goof at heart you can work in a little bit of the latter. This time you get to pick out your lingerie or tear-away tracksuit or any other costume that strikes your fancy.

♥ Does your guy like complicated video games, escape-the-room games, or Clue? Does he enjoy a good mystery novel? Does he fancy himself as a bit of a Sherlock Holmes? Then create a personalized game. You can make a scavenger hunt, and the end result will be a pile of fun accessories for your evening like whipped cream, body chocolate, soft handcuffs, or a cute maid’s outfit. You could create your own escape-the-room game by leaving clues around (tell him to look for anything out of place and tape clues to the backs of paintings turned sideways, inside of literary books that are in a kitchen cabinet, or to the back of a clock that has its hands stopped and set at a special time). His prize for “escaping the room” could be the discovery of a rose petal covered bed—with you in the center of it. Whatever kind of game you design, make sure to include personal touches. Questions like “What item did we find on the trail of our first hike together?” will have him zooming all over the house trying to find where you put that special turquoise stone.

♥ If you’re feeling especially adventurous, create a super-personal gift that lasts and lasts. For instance, a special boudoir photo session can leave a lasting impression on him and can be tasteful at the same time. You could also write him a song and record yourself singing “your song,” (turned over to him only after he signs an agreement stating that he will never upload it to YouTube), or paint him a portrait.

Is your relationship low-key, laidback, and a little less adventurous? If you want an easygoing evening so you can reconnect and unwind, here are some great ideas:

♥ Just because strip-teases and lickable body chocolate lathered on your belly isn’t your idea of a good time doesn’t mean your evening has to become one of indentured servitude. Reserve a special take-out meal from a fine-dining restaurant. You get to enjoy the food portion of the evening without the pressure of restaurants or having to cook.

♥ Channel your inner first-grader by handwriting cheesy Valentine’s cards and putting them in a “mailbox” for him. “Will you bee mine?” complete with a cartoon bee is cute enough to make his heart melt and sentimental enough to become a fun keepsake.

♥ Have a movie marathon. Stagger the movies such that for every When Harry Met Sally you watch, he gets to throw in a Total Recall or a Pulp Fiction. Make your own movie-watching theater by piling blankets and pillows all over the floor for a throne you can both recline in together. Popcorn, snacks, wine, and beer are a more adult version of movie-watcher favorites.